The door on the left is
always closed, shut to the light
coming from the hall,
the sounds behind it are muffled,
an occasional moan,
a nervous laugh,
a pleading apology,
a promise to try harder next time,
a pledge that this was,
really,
the last time.
The door on the left,
is painted white.
Every scuff mark shows,
every fist beat resonates within
the wood, till another takes its place.
There is no welcome mat,
just a salt stained spot in the beige carpet.
The door on the left is
always locked, the hallway light above
burned out, dust covered,
it's glass globe filled
with moths, and flies.
The door on the left is
always locked,
the door on the right
tries to not notice.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Under Water
One day bumps into
the next until you
are left
bruised, swollen,
at the end of the week.
From a vacant apartment
a smoke detector
screams for a new battery.
It is getting louder
as the days go on,
it is though
we are living in
a submarine
that keeps signaling
to surface,
but continues to dive
deeper.
Someone, please just
change the fucking battery!
Please.
The days just slam
into one another
and I am left
bloody and breathless
at the bottom
of the ocean.
the next until you
are left
bruised, swollen,
at the end of the week.
From a vacant apartment
a smoke detector
screams for a new battery.
It is getting louder
as the days go on,
it is though
we are living in
a submarine
that keeps signaling
to surface,
but continues to dive
deeper.
Someone, please just
change the fucking battery!
Please.
The days just slam
into one another
and I am left
bloody and breathless
at the bottom
of the ocean.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
An Actor's Life For Me
Today I bought a yellow coat
At the Goodwill.
It cost 6 dollars and 99 cents.
It reminded me of Catherine Deneuve.
It seemed out of place amongst,
The other coats that hung with it.
Last night I dreamt of Charlton Heston,
I couldn’t find a piece of paper to get
His autograph.
He didn’t have a gun.
Marlon Brando died this week.
Everyone says he was their
Father, and now his lawyer
Says he wasn’t bankrupt after all.
They still can’t find his Oscars.
I haven’t taken my meds for
3 days, and this reminds me of him.
My son is 3 years old,
And says that I look like a princess.
He is sleeping now,
Holding a yellow ball in his arms.
Someday he may be an actor,
And someone will buy a coat
Because it will remind them of him.
At the Goodwill.
It cost 6 dollars and 99 cents.
It reminded me of Catherine Deneuve.
It seemed out of place amongst,
The other coats that hung with it.
Last night I dreamt of Charlton Heston,
I couldn’t find a piece of paper to get
His autograph.
He didn’t have a gun.
Marlon Brando died this week.
Everyone says he was their
Father, and now his lawyer
Says he wasn’t bankrupt after all.
They still can’t find his Oscars.
I haven’t taken my meds for
3 days, and this reminds me of him.
My son is 3 years old,
And says that I look like a princess.
He is sleeping now,
Holding a yellow ball in his arms.
Someday he may be an actor,
And someone will buy a coat
Because it will remind them of him.
Monday, August 9, 2010
I want someone to love me like this
When I die I want someone
to pester the only remaining
photo lab in town,
with piles of pictures of our life.
Two copies of us kissing
in the backyard.
Four copies of me standing
in the snow with that funny hat I love.
Three copies of our first
born, on his first day home.
Four copies of a faded picture,
torn and discolored,
of me
just smiling at them.
I want someone to leave my coat
thrown over my desk chair.
I want someone to have mismatched pillows
for months, because they can still
smell my scent on one.
I want someone to cry every time
they hear a Johnny Cash song,
they see a stray cat,
they can't get a knot out,
someone is driving without their
headlights on.
When I die I want someone
to love me like this.
to pester the only remaining
photo lab in town,
with piles of pictures of our life.
Two copies of us kissing
in the backyard.
Four copies of me standing
in the snow with that funny hat I love.
Three copies of our first
born, on his first day home.
Four copies of a faded picture,
torn and discolored,
of me
just smiling at them.
I want someone to leave my coat
thrown over my desk chair.
I want someone to have mismatched pillows
for months, because they can still
smell my scent on one.
I want someone to cry every time
they hear a Johnny Cash song,
they see a stray cat,
they can't get a knot out,
someone is driving without their
headlights on.
When I die I want someone
to love me like this.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A Poem for January 6th, 2009
The Dog In The Yard
He is barking in the backyard again,
he is tied to a 10 foot tether
but that is not long enough,
he wants to be free to run where he wants
but there is a hole in the fence
and if he gets out,
will he come back?
Would I want him to come back?
Would I cry if he didn't?
I have my nightgown on,
and he is still barking,
I try to ignore it,
I worry about the neighbors,
coming,
beating their fists on
the front door.
"Can't you keep that animal quiet?"
They scream, standing there in
their night gowns.
I put a mattress over the front door.
They can beat their fists all they want,
but I won't hear them.
He is still barking in the back yard.
I've turned the TV up very loud.
I settle on the couch,
and turn on an old movie,
it is black and white,
it's about a woman,
and a man,
and he wants more space,
and she wants a home,
and a white picket fence.
I think she wants one
without a hole in it.
He works late at the office,
she keeps his dinner warm,
she is wearing her nightgown.
He is wearing nothing,
he is not hungry.
I turn the TV off,
it is quiet.
I walk to the backyard,
I am wearing nothing.
He is not there,
I don't cry.
He is barking in the backyard again,
he is tied to a 10 foot tether
but that is not long enough,
he wants to be free to run where he wants
but there is a hole in the fence
and if he gets out,
will he come back?
Would I want him to come back?
Would I cry if he didn't?
I have my nightgown on,
and he is still barking,
I try to ignore it,
I worry about the neighbors,
coming,
beating their fists on
the front door.
"Can't you keep that animal quiet?"
They scream, standing there in
their night gowns.
I put a mattress over the front door.
They can beat their fists all they want,
but I won't hear them.
He is still barking in the back yard.
I've turned the TV up very loud.
I settle on the couch,
and turn on an old movie,
it is black and white,
it's about a woman,
and a man,
and he wants more space,
and she wants a home,
and a white picket fence.
I think she wants one
without a hole in it.
He works late at the office,
she keeps his dinner warm,
she is wearing her nightgown.
He is wearing nothing,
he is not hungry.
I turn the TV off,
it is quiet.
I walk to the backyard,
I am wearing nothing.
He is not there,
I don't cry.
My New Year's Resolutions
Ok, my resolutions are to take more photos, see more art, find my creativity again. That's it. Not to earth shaking. I just want to have more beauty in my life. So I will watch more good movies, read more books, write more poetry etc. There I better get started.
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